Are you carrying guilt on shoulder mommy?

The constitution has granted rights to women to work and earn a living. The society has waved the green flag and said it's now your time, go ahead and show the power of woman. The family said, if you can really manage your work and family alike then, why not? Husband whispered it's your life honey live it on your own terms. And children, oh they are too young to say anything regarding the matter of their Mom working.  

Life of a woman has evolved and undergone so many changes. In every stage of evolution one theory that was proved right again and again is 'Charles Darwin's theory of Survival of the fittest'. No matter how liberal the rules on the paper are towards women the practical difficulties are always dominant. Apart from battling with the world outside her body, a woman constantly tries to win the war within herself. The two greatest enemies within her body are the biological processes of femininity and the feminine psychological complexity. The woman is all ready and trying hard to win over these two enemies and the third one arises, the guilt. One woman who survives all these odds and faces challenges with courage will win the battle inside-out.

In the past women were more family centric. They were hardly given the choice between work and home. It was a well defined job for a woman to stay at home and pursue her duties as a manager of domestic work. Gradually as the women started enjoying more freedom, they also chose their life style. Now the scenario is very different from what it used to be once. Women are deciding on their take over life either as a career woman or a stay at home lady. 

Taking into account the status of women in India at present, I understand the fact that not all women have this kind of options and freedom. India is a sub-continent of different cultures and classes. Many factors rule and influence the status of a woman. Considering the modern Indian society and the status of modern Indian woman, yes, she is free to choose. Thus, begins the struggle to prove her decision right.

A woman plays a number of roles during her life time. One very important role given by the nature to a woman is being a mother. We all know what it takes to be a good mother. When a woman plays this role as a mother, her life gets a different meaning. Between, a mother has two important choices in life. One being- get back to work and the second one being- a stay at home mom.

Once a woman makes a decision to board the flight of a career she feels guilty of not having enough time to her family. The more she works and pulls herself up in the career the more she experiences the loss of quality time at home. She starts getting attached to the idea of growing self-sufficient financially and it becomes an obsession holding her back from compromising in the career. A stage in her life arises where she starts feeling guilty of committing a crime against her family by not nurturing the relationships.

Above all if the woman is also a mom then it's just like icing on the cake for a diabetic! With a very little spare time to dedicate to the child(ern) she feels like she is the most selfish mom anybody could ever have. She holds herself responsible for everything that goes wrong in her young-one's life. And people around her always find an opportunity and keep telling her on how she is missing some lovely moments of life being away from home all day. 

She is anyway not going to give up the job as the decision she made to get back to work will be a failure. And also that if she has decided to earn her bit then there are a number of reasons supporting her decision. The family financial conditions, her own aspirations or even the push from her partner! Apart from managing the daily chores at the house she also needs to manage the mental stress and the feeling called guilt. 

On the other side if a woman choose to stay back home and become a happy home maker, she has in store a set of different problems. She enjoys the colors of life in a completely different canvas. She has all the time to paint her home with the smiles of her family. She experiences and enjoys every moment with her kid(s). She is lucky to watch every millimeter of her child(ren) grow.

The stay at home mom works equally as a working mom does with no or very little help from her partner. She can more efficiently manage household work since she does them according to her convenience. But a package of guilt comes in handy with this decision as well. Somewhere deep down she has the frustration of not giving a helping hand financially to the family. She is guilty of not sharing the burden of her partner. She is constantly in guilt of doing nothing but a thankless job of saving her home and relationship. Sometimes she also needs to cope up with the stress of not stepping out of home for several days in a row.   

Whatever be a mother's decision, the guilt is here to stay with her. Being a woman in itself brings a lot of burden from the society and family together. This not only makes a woman face challenge in her everyday life but also triggers her emotional clock to go off the balance. Then there is a tempering of motherhood to her already not so good situation making her run around the world to fulfill the goals of a mother. 

The bottom line is, be it a career mom or a stay at home mom, every mom is a working mom. And what is important in a mother's life is how much quality time she gives to her family and not the quantity. It's important to share the bond of love and compassion and not just the financial burden. No worries weather she is a money making mom or a home making mom, just needs to give the best and enjoy the motherhood.  

Acedia, one of the seven deadly sins is committed by a woman at least once in her life time. This happens while the woman is in the state of war against herself! Life becomes so light and easy once she drops off the sack of guilt from her shoulders. Once she is free of guilt she has even more time for family, work and herself. 

  Credit of image 'guilt' click